Pain – an excerpt from my upcoming book “Father”

His son asked him, “Father, what about Pain? “

And he said:

Pain is simply the expansion of the boundaries of your awareness and sense of self.

Just as when you were a child and felt growing pains, all pain is in truth just “growing pain”. Alas, most of us seldom recognize this. Therefore, we try to resist it, convincing ourselves that to live is to abolish all pain.

If you maintain an open mind, a calm and loving heart, you will marvel at the pain in your life as it is truly more wondrous and nourishing then joy. Pain is the main course, joy is the desert.

Just as you accept that day follows night and night follows day, just as the seasons pass, so does pain and joy.

To wish away night would be to die from fatigue.

To wish away the rain would be to die from drought.

To wish away spring would be to die of starvation.

To wish away pain would be to die of inertia.

Accept the seasons of your heart just as you accept the seasons of the earth.

Accept pain as if you were a Grizzly resting serenely in your den through the winter months.

Pain is the vitamin that this existence has given you, to allow you to grow big and strong.

Trust the universal and age-old intelligence of this world and swallow your vitamins with a glass of pure water, allowing them to stimulate every cell in you; as a result, becoming who you truly are meant to be.

And even though the thunder and lightning might terrify you to the bone, know that their majestic powers will ultimately energize your soul and foster your transformation; this is the path  to the best “you”.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _



Nikolaï RAY, personal development companion and leadership 2.0 specialist


Mentor | Author | Speaker         




A personal development companion?


A personal development companion is similar to a “life coach” but is also quite different. A person such as myself does not direct or coach the development of his client, rather he learns about him or her by listening and truly learning about who he or she is. The PDC will then share what he has learned from his own experiences and pass on the wisdom he has gained, allowing the client to forge his own path rather than follow the PDC’s “truth”. This may seem like a small nuance but the results are astounding. Just as we need a mirror to see our own face, the personal development companion serves as a mirror that reflects the deep self of the client and who he or she can be. This PDC-Client relationship is a non hierarchical one where dominance and superiority are non existant, therefore this very natural flowing method of guiding allows the room and freedom for open-mindedness and humility which in turns increases the chances of the client discovering his path of happiness and success.


 If you are interested in my services, whether it in the form of personal development companion, conferences, or retreats, please go to Services page of this website and I will be more than happy to share whatever I can with you.


What is leadership 2.0?


We, as human beings, all have the capability of being leaders. Leadership is an intrinsic quality that resides within everyone and is simply waiting to be expressed and shared. You certainly do not need a title in order to be a leader since leadership power is not attributed by external sources, rather it is fueled by an inner vision and mission of a better self. Furthermore, leadership is when one expresses and shares the best of themselves in service of others therefore positively impacting the world around them. “Give a fish to a man and he will be fed for a day, teach a man how to fish and he will be fed for a lifetime, teach a man how to teach others to fish and he will feed a whole community”. A leader is therefore someone who creates other leaders just as autonomous as himself and who then perpetuates this leadership cycle.


To learn more about Leadership 2.0, please visit the website of the International Society of Exceptional Leaders, a network of people from all kinds of  professions and from all over the world who lead a life of leadership.


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